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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29810694">Beating the House</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EleosEpistrophia/pseuds/EleosEpistrophia'>EleosEpistrophia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Twin Peaks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Non-Sexual Discipline, Non-Sexual Spanking, One-Eyed Jack's</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:41:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,927</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29810694</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EleosEpistrophia/pseuds/EleosEpistrophia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Cooper had come across Audrey the <em>first</em> time he went to One-Eyed Jack's?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dale Cooper/Audrey Horne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Id Pro Quo 2021</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Beating the House</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/peternurphy/gifts">peternurphy</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Got a trout on the line, Hawk. This one’s a keeper.”</p><p>Cooper pulled his sleeve back down and surveyed the casino. He had given Jacques two hours to cross the border, and while he needed to question the man eventually, Cooper was happy to let Harry arrest him and let him sweat it out in a cell for a while. Right now he intended to collect as much information as he could, and there was another avenue of One-Eyed Jack’s that he had yet to explore.</p><p>He waited patiently in his seat until he caught the arm of one of the waitresses. It wasn’t the one who had propositioned him before, but a tall, thin blonde who couldn’t hide her irritation at the intrusion. He leaned into her ear and said, “I need to see Blackie.” The girl nodded and motioned him to stay in his seat before sauntering off into the crowd.</p><p>Cooper kept an eye on his surroundings, watched Big Ed lose at the Craps table with his usual good-natured disposition. He knew this was a risky gamble to take – if the R.C.M.P discovered an American agent working on the wrong side of the border, it could lead to some terse conversations between the two agencies, and shit always flowed downhill. The Bureau wouldn’t care about a complaint from the Canadians, but distributing the agency’s money internationally could ruffle a few feathers at the office. Cooper knew he received more leeway than a lot of agents, because he was good at his job and his gambling usually paid off. Hopefully he’d get his slap on the wrist and be done with it.</p><p>Blackie arrived shortly, slid coolly into the opposite chair with cat-like grace and a hint of amusement dancing around her eyes.</p><p>“What can I do for you, Barney?”</p><p>“Well Blackie, the night is wearing thin and I’m looking for something to keep my interest.” Blackie raised an eyebrow and pressed her lips into a knowing smile.</p><p>“What kind of interests do you have, exactly?”</p><p>“I like things that are… recalcitrant. Hard to get.” Cooper said, wearing a grin that was both charming and shark-like. Blackie nodded.</p><p>“It isn’t the usual fare of those who come here, but I have just the thing for you.”</p><p> </p><p>Blackie lead him downstairs, down a hallway filled with the disingenuous sounds of female pleasure and the clapping of flesh. Despite knowing what a pale imitation of sexual intimacy the rooms held, Cooper felt the stirrings of arousal. It amused Cooper, how at times the mind and the body could be so in sync, and how at other moments they seemed utterly disconnected. He willed the feeling to abide, took deep inhales while thinking of Teresa Banks and Laura Palmer and the terrible circumstances that had led him to One Eyed Jack's. The feelings receded, and even though the sounds hadn’t changed in timbre or volume, they began to take on an ominous, disquieting tone. Blackie paused before a door, her hand resting on the knob as she looked at him.</p><p>“This one is new, but she is exactly what you want.” Cooper inwardly cursed, but grinned widely. He had wanted someone who had been around long enough that she may have had some information, something she’d be glad to give up in lieu of sex she didn’t want to have. He had misstepped, and it limited his options.</p><p>She opened the door and led him into a blindingly red room, as garish and ostentatious as the outfits the girls wore. Red was the colour of lust and passion, but it reminded Cooper of fresh blood, and he wondered if the colour scheme was created with that in mind.</p><p>“You have a visitor.” Blackie called out. The curtains were drawn on the canopy bed, but there was a muffled sound of limbs moving before an almost strangled voice replied.</p><p>“I’m not feeling well.”</p><p>“Good.” Blackie replied, and then turned back to Cooper and raised an eyebrow. “Recalcitrant as they come.”</p><p>“Thank you,” he replied. There was an awkward moment where Blackie looked at him expectantly, and it took Cooper a moment to catch on. “How much for an hour?”</p><p>“American or Canadian?” she asked.</p><p>“American.”</p><p>“Three hundred.” Cooper took out his winnings and counted the bills before folding them into Blackie’s outstretched hand. “You don’t do this very much, do you Barney?” she asked, a little too inquisitively.</p><p>“Only when I have the luxury of distance and time, which isn’t often,” he agreed.</p><p>“Well, make sure she makes your limited time worth it.” Blackie left the room like a whiff of smoke, and Cooper turned his attention towards the bed. The voice had rung some bell in his head, seemed a little too familiar. Approaching the bed he stopped outside the curtains, watching the outline of the woman shift on the duvet.</p><p>“Hello,” he began, and a very familiar voice hissed through the curtains.</p><p>“Is she gone?” Cooper frowned as it clicked.</p><p>“Audrey?”</p><p>Audrey threw open the curtains and beamed at him as she sat on her legs. A mixture of horror and arousal rose in Cooper again. She was dressed in the similar Black Jack theme but had much more white, with a card on her stomach, punctuated with holes that allowed a white gossamer ribbon to wrap around her. Framed against her dark hair and red lips, she looked absolutely stunning, and it terrified Cooper that she was here, at One-Eyed Jack’s, waiting on a bed for the first drunken degenerate with enough cash to buy her.</p><p>“I knew it was you,” she said, bubbling over with joy. “I knew from the sound of your voice. I’d know it anywhere. You look like a movie star, with that suit and those glasses, and - “</p><p>“Audrey, why are you <em>here</em>?” Cooper demanded. She frowned, recoiling slightly.</p><p>“I told you. I slipped a letter under the door of your hotel room. I guess you didn’t get it.”</p><p>“No, I didn’t. So explain yourself.” Her smile took on a prideful, sultry expression and at any other time Cooper would have been charmed. This was a very different situation.</p><p>“I started working at the perfume counter at my father’s store, because that’s where Laura worked. I found out that One-Eyed Jack’s recruits girls from there to come and work here. I’m following the lead.” Cooper pinched the bridge of his nose, sliding his glasses precariously close to the end of his nose.</p><p>“No, you’re being ridiculous. You’re 18, and you have no training in undercover investigations or law enforcement experience.” He shoved the glasses back into place, trying to find some physical outlet for his frustration. “You have no back-up, and I doubt anyone knows you’re here. You’re playing some childish game, and you’re putting yourself AND the investigation at risk.” Cooper felt the colour rise in his cheeks, and his body burned like a furnace “I don’t have time for this, Audrey.” Her face had fallen as he spoke, and now the corners of her lips and eyes were set in defiance.</p><p>“Oh, so what? You were going to put on some panty hose and investigate? I’ve found out a lot of valuable information, information you couldn’t have gotten without someone going undercover.”</p><p>“Keep your voice down,” Cooper hissed. “The walls are damn thin.”</p><p>“Fine.” Audrey lowered her voice a few decibels, but her anger seethed through every word. “You’re just mad because you know I’m right.”</p><p>“No, I’m mad because you’re being reckless and you have no idea what you got yourself into. Do you know how lucky you are that I happened to be here and Blackie thought you’d be the kind of whore I’m looking for? If I hadn’t come along, by the end of the night you would have been-” Cooper cut himself off, looked at the ground to refocus. He was angry, but she didn’t deserve the vulgarities that were on the tip of his tongue. She smiled coyly.</p><p>“Well, <em>Barney</em>,” Audrey intoned. “What kind of whore <em>are</em> you looking for?” Cooper felt his face light up like a Christmas display, and he shot her a withering look.</p><p>“I was looking for someone who had been here a while, who might be willing to give me some information in lieu of sex.”</p><p>“You could have both.” Audrey’s eyes shone with filthy promise, and Cooper wondered which god he had offended to have wound up in this situation.</p><p>“Don’t toy with me, Audrey.” He inwardly cursed when his voice came out higher and shakier than he wanted. He cleared his throat and focused on sounding deeper, commanding. “We need to get you out of here.” Audrey shrugged and dispassionately inspected her nails.</p><p>“Well, in order not to blow your cover we’re going to need to spend some time in here. And if there’s no noise coming from this room, it’s going to look suspicious. So we have to do <em>something</em>...” she trailed off, and then looked up at him expectantly. She was right, Cooper knew, and the fact that he was boxed in made his frustration mount.</p><p>“Fine,” he snapped. “We’ll do <em>something</em>.” He went and sat down beside her, and her eyes lit up again.</p><p>“What did you have in mind?” she purred.</p><p>“Lay down over my lap, bottom up,” he commanded, and Audrey smirked as she got into position.</p><p>“Kinky.”</p><p>“No, this isn’t <em>kinky</em>.” Cooper gritted his teeth as he disconnected the straps holding the stockings to her garter belt. He pulled up the lace barely covering her ass, and tried not to focus on the white underwear making a cleft between her cheeks. “You’re just a rich, sheltered girl involving yourself in things you don’t understand and can’t handle, and you’re making life very difficult for me. I doubt your father ever told you ‘no’, so if you want to <em>do something</em>, let’s catch you up on all the years of discipline you should have received.” Raising his hand, he brought it down on her left cheek, hard and unforgiving. His hand stung, but it was worth it at the pained yelp she let out.</p><p>“Jesus, not so hard,” she whined.</p><p>“You’re not supposed to enjoy this,” Cooper replied. “I’m doing this for your own good. Maybe you’ll remember this the next time you want to go snooping around in things that aren’t your business.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “Now, I want you to count each time I hit you. We’re going to do twenty, and if I think you’ve learned your lesson we’ll stop there. If you lose track, we’re going to start all over again. Do you understand?”</p><p>“Yes.” Audrey’s voice had lost some of it’s vitality, and came out as an angry groan.</p><p>“Good. Now.” He let his hand fly again, a bit softer this time now that she had gotten the message.</p><p>“One.”</p><p>“Good Audrey,” he replied, and then spanked her again.</p><p>“Two.” His hand had landed between her bare flesh and her panties, and he frowned. The cotton was surely dampening his blows, and he thought that perhaps he should have ordered her to remove them. It was too late now, so instead he peeled the edges upward until the fabric was mostly tucked between her cheeks.</p><p>“That’s uncomfortable,” she complained.</p><p>“That’s the <em>point</em>.” Cooper replied, before delivering the next strike on her opposite cheek.</p><p>“Three.” Her voice was a little more pained now, and Cooper knew he had made a good choice.</p><p>“Four.” Audrey’s voice became small, was eaten by the duvet, and Cooper shook his head.</p><p>“Audrey, speak up. We need to make some noise now, don’t we?” He rewarded her lack of enthusiasm with an especially hard smack.</p><p>“Five!” she shrieked as her spine arched and her head came off the bed. Cooper nodded approvingly.</p><p>“That’s it. Make some noise, let them know we're in here.” On the sixth slap he felt the warmth beginning to spread through his palm and her bare flesh, and by her pained moans he imagined that the heat must make each slap even more painful. Just for fun, he delivered a series of blows in succession to her right buttock, all in the same spot, and was gratified by Audrey’s panicked counting.</p><p>“Seveneightnine!” she screamed, and her hips wiggled to avoid another blow that wasn’t coming. “That was too fast!”</p><p>“But your counting was perfect. Good girl,” he said soothingly, and allowed her a moment to catch her breath before delivering the next one to her left cheek.</p><p>“Ten.” At eleven Cooper heard her sniff, and looked at her face to see her mascara running from her eye.</p><p>“It’s O.K. It’ll be over soon,” he assured her, and she sniffed again.</p><p>“It hurts.”</p><p>“I know. But you don’t seem to learn any other way.” Cooper allowed his hand to gently massage the reddened flesh. “It’s for your own good, Audrey. Believe me.” And then he struck again.</p><p>“Twelve,” she moaned.</p><p>“That’s right. Just keep breathing, O.K. sweetheart?” Her ass was blooming a deep red, contrasting nicely with her pale thighs, and in a moment of self-indulgence Cooper wondered if he could leave a bruise in the shape of his hand if he hit hard enough.</p><p>“Thirteen!” Audrey shriek, and turned her tear-streaked face to glare at Cooper. “That was just cruel.”</p><p>“If your father had disciplined you like he should have, it wouldn’t have felt like anything,” he retorted, but softened the next blow anyway. He found that he liked slapping upwards at the bottom of her ass the best – there was something satisfying in how her ass rippled at the impact. He continued to alternate the pattern of spanking, randomly striking at different areas and varying the time between each smack. At fifteen, Audrey’s voice came out in a sob. At seventeen, she faltered.</p><p>“I’m sorry!” she tried. “I shouldn’t have done this, and I won’t do it again!”</p><p>“That’s nice, but it’s not a number,” Cooper replied sternly. “Do you want to start this all over again?”</p><p>“...seventeen,” she said meekly.</p><p>“I didn’t hear that. You have one more chance.”</p><p>“SEVENTEEN!” Satisfied, Cooper swiftly delivered the next strike, and Audrey continued the count. At nineteen, Cooper once again massaged the redden flesh.</p><p>“It’s almost over Audrey,” he said quietly. “You’ve been very good, and you just need to get through one more. I know you can do this for me.” She sniffed and let out a choked sob before nodding into the duvet. Cooper reached out his arm as far as he could before delivering the final, most emphatic spank.</p><p>“TWENTY!” Audrey let loose a string of sobs, and Cooper ran a hand over her back.</p><p>“Shhh… it’s O.K. It’s over now. You did so well Audrey. I’m very impressed with you,” he cooed softly, and ran his hand in small circles over the lace of her outfit. Cooper allowed her a few moments of sobbing self-pity before he spoke again. “Believe it or not, I remember what it was like to be eighteen and feel invincible with the world at my fingertips. But there are some things that you just shouldn’t be involving yourself with, not without the appropriate training and life experience. I just don’t want to see you get hurt, or get dragged into whatever killed Laura. You have your entire life ahead of you, and I don’t want it to be ruined before it even starts, O.K.?” Audrey’s breathing had calmed and her sobs had subsided into small hiccups.</p><p>“Just wanted to be helpful. Wasn’t trying to ruin things,” she muttered.</p><p>“I know Audrey. And maybe, once you get your degree, you can consider joining the Bureau. I’d be happy to put in a good word at the Academy for you.” She turned her head to look at him, her mascara, lipstick and blush smeared in blotchy patterns across her face. It was oddly adorable.</p><p>“Do you mean that?”</p><p>“Of course. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t,” he assured her, and a low, pained smile broke out across her face.</p><p>“Is there a lot of desk work? Because I don’t know if I’ll be able to sit down four years from now.” Cooper chuckled.</p><p>“You’ll be fine, I promise.” Wiping at her eyes, Audrey pushed herself up into a sitting position and then glanced around the room.</p><p>“What now?” she asked.</p><p>“Now, we get you out of here.”</p><p> </p><p>After fixing her make up and costume, Cooper and Audrey exited the suite, on the look for Blackie. Fortunately she was close by, head bowed in conversation with another girl. Blackie looked up as they approached and dismissed the young woman with a nod before turning her attention to the two of them.</p><p>“Was everything satisfactory?” she asked, shooting a predatory smile at Audrey. It made Cooper bristle, but he held his face in a wide smile.</p><p>“Very satisfactory. In fact, this young lady charmed me so much I’d like to take her out for the rest of the night. I’d pay appropriately, of course.” Blackie’s smile turned a little less inviting as she shook her head.</p><p>“Unfortunately, Barney, we don’t allow the girls off premise when they’re working. You’ll either have to remain here, or return on another night to see her.”</p><p>“Not even for the right donation?” Cooper asked.</p><p>“The policy is very strict in this regard.”</p><p>“I see.” Cooper pursed his lips and Audrey met his gaze. “Well in that case...” He unhooked his arm from Audrey's and grabbed her hand.</p><p>“RUN!”</p>
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